My life is a continual and persistent search for meaning, and, a lot of times, it seems that the meaning of particular situations, that I find myself on a daily basis, escapes me, which is extraordinarily frustrating. Yet I have discovered that through writing, I am afforded the opportunity to give the events of my life the meaning that I want to give them. Otherwise, all of what happens in my life will be based on another person's opinion, which is fine for a certain period of time because I do like to try new things. Eventually, however, I discover that what might work for one person does not necessarily work for me. I am a hard worker, and if there is something that I enjoy for a certain period of time that I think will bring me greater success, I will try my best to test the limits of that particular ideology until I cannot bear the burden of the lie that I am ultimately telling myself. I know a lot of this sounds pretty intense, but this is how I discover answers for myself; it is how I give life meaning. Without such methods, I would be lost, stumbling for one place to the other without the ability to think for myself. I would rather believe in something wrong than to not believe in anything at all. Faith is what makes me stronger, so I do everything I can to fortify my faith everyday. There is hardly ever a moment when I am not questioning what is going on. I do lose myself completely to the moment when a great conversation is taking place; yet this is one of the only times that my mind is free. Otherwise, I am constantly mulling over thoughts, opinions, ideas, philosophies, strategies, and beliefs from myself and others. All of this to say that I am searching for something real. If what I am doing, writing, or saying does not feel right, then I become ashamed of that action, and by writing as much as I can about what is going on in my life, I am better able to discern the right answers for myself. For me, writing is liberation in every sense of the word, the shackles of both mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual slavery are shattered when my thoughts begin to flow onto the page.
Before I matriculated to Wofford College, I was completely aware of the world around me (at least in most cases, definitely not all). I knew that there was an enigma that needed to be solved, but I just did not have the education to express myself in a lucid and coherent manner. However, now that I have significant life experience coupled with a fine liberal arts education (thank you Wofford) to match, I feel as if there is nothing that I cannot conquer. There world is literally my playing field. And each day I prepare myself to learn about as many of the mysteries of this strange and wonderful place that I can. This blog has been a long time coming, but I finally feel ready to communicate my feelings and thoughts, no matter how deep they might be, to other people who choose to follow my life story.
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