No Sleep

This might be one of the worst cases of insomnia that I have ever had. I did all that I could to exhaust myself playing basketball, but to no avail. It is now 3:04am I cannot sleep. Each time I think I am about to fall asleep, another thought crosses my mind, and from there I cannot help but to make connections. One moment I am thinking about what I want to do with the Togetherness program, the next moment, I am ruminating on my trip to South Africa and so on. The cycle will not cease. I prayed, which normally helps me consolidate my thoughts, but for the past two nights, I have been unable to fall asleep. It would not be an issue if I did not have to be up in less than four hours, not to mention that I have a full day ahead of me. What is wrong with me, why can I not sleep? That is all I want to do. To be honest, I think my biggest mistake was reading about the life of Nelson Mandela. I have only read the first fifteen pages or so, and I am already captivated by this man's journey. I admit that my knowledge of Mandela's life is limited, but to see that he came from such humble beginnings is truly inspiring. Not humble beginnings in the American sense, no not at all. Mandela, the man that changed the world forever, was raised in a tribe.

They way in which he illustrates his homeland is wonderful. I felt as if I was standing next to Mandela as he played games with the other children in Quno. Stick fighting, war games, and tag, what fun for such a young mind. I felt as if I was reliving my childhood through his words. Only if it was possible to go back in time and transform my yearnings of childhood festivities into something real.

I do appreciate where I am now in life, but I long for hours of play with my old friends, many of which have been forgotten. It is a sad occurrence, but one that has given me a great deal of strength. I know that I am an emotional person, and because of that it is difficult for me to relinquish a relationship with most people. But I have learned that the more that I let go, the more that I grow. And if those relationships are truly meant to be, the connection will come about once more. Now that I have made my peace with my childhood, thanks to Mandela, I hope that I can fall asleep.